Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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