I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
