Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
It's shark week go big or go home
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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