She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Randomize
