Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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