I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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