Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
