Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
You may now shotgun with the bride
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
