If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
