I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
