Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
