She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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