So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
