He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
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