trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
