Four minutes until I can fart!
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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