you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
