Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
