i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
