I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Randomize
