So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
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