Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
