That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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