Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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