i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
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