I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
