I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
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