Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
