That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
