You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
you would pick up someone in the library
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Randomize
