She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
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