It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
This is the high leading the old right now
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
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