if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
sex in a hospital.. check
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
