WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
