he shaved USA in his pubs
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I think your dad took our porno
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
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