how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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