My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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