remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
