I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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