I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
