Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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