I bet he comes in French.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
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He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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