I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I fill condoms, not promises.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
