everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
