I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize