she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
