Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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