its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
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Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
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It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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