so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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