Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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