Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize