The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
A+ Viking dick
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
