i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
