if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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