I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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