Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize