If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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