Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
4 words: hood of his car
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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