Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Randomize
