the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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