i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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